It seems these days that one cannot swing a stick on the internet without hitting an article on why bots are So Hot Right Now.
As your friendly neighborhood dominatrix and expert on being served by people and things as a lifestyle, I feel obligated to chime in. Of the many fun things about being a dominatrix, we also often get to ask these same questions about the submissive person who wants to engage with us in a BDSM kink dynamic, as certainly these service-oriented subs each come with their own distinct human personality.
So despite my misgivings, I decided to move on to setting up a poll: I dead-ended in this several times before giving up on my poll.
As with Howdy I became quickly flustered that I had to work so hard to do what in reality could have been accomplished in less time with a pen and a post-it.
I decided to check out how Growbot responded to my dommely commands: That’s better I guess. Cons: doesn’t do a heck of a lot, is pretty much just a keyword-triggered random output of mediocre copy. Rating: 2/5 ballgags Another task-oriented bot, Howdy posits itself as a kind of office assistant that can be “trained,” which sounds appealing to me even if this kind of training involves fewer riding crops than I’m used to.
I then tried the “kudos” function which is supposed to save up when people are given praise to a leaderboard, but couldn’t get a response. I asked Howdy what it can do, then experimented a bit with setting up checkins and meetings.
Bots should be as forthright in providing proactive reminders of how best to interact with them, especially at the point of failure.
Cons: The Slack integrated version is garbage compared to Messenger, wish it was easier to access Poncho across platforms.
Rating: 5/5 ballgags Growbot exists to give praise, and as someone who is in to worship of all kinds I find this bot’s purpose to be conceptually acceptable.
The gist is that you add this chatbot to Slack channels and it listens in for “props” which cue it up to give praise to a designated team member.
Rating: 2/5 ballgags Another productivity/office task bot, Ace is pretty upfront about the fact that it can only do expense reports, to-do lists, and polls.
The random combinations of what these companies decide is some helpful enough smattering of tasks to justify building and releasing an app is starting to baffle me, but what do I know.