Problems with older men dating younger women
“Husband,” I filled in for her.“Right,” she said, eyebrows raised.
“Your husband’s colonoscopy is done and he’s nearly ready to go home.” She walked me to where Jack, still loopy from anesthesia, chatted merrily with the surgery center staff, his naked butt exposed in his backless hospital gown.
Popular theory suggests gold-digging is in effect, since older men presumably have greater financial security.
But three years into my marriage, I’m still (happily) driving a 2004 Honda Element with 160,000 miles and a back door held shut with my German Shepherd’s leash.
There’s also the social stigma, the difference in career phases, the fact that Boyz II Men brings him no childhood nostalgia whatsoever.
Our differences, experts say, give couples like us, with an age gap of 20 or more years, a 95 percent chance of divorce.
A gig wasn’t in the cards—his company wasn’t hiring—and neither was a romance.
Somewhere between copy-editing and cabernet, we became great friends..then more. I fretted for months over revealing my new relationship to my traditional parents, who were surprisingly alright with it.Since Jack’s life in New Jersey was already established, I also reimagined my five-year plan, which had involved moving to a bigger city with a larger network of young professionals and fewer early-bird specials.I can see how, on paper, the power dynamics of my relationship look ripe for judgement. In addition to his lumberjack good looks, I attracted to Jack’s intellectual potency, his worldliness, and the unwavering way he protects the things he loves—all idealized “daddy” qualities (albeit ones I’d also find attractive in a 20-something).While I’ll admit that it was Jack who introduced me to the joys of bottled wine over boxed and hotels over hostels, my husband is a guy who invests most of his money back into his business and his community—one of the reasons I fell for him—and I work hard to bring in my own.Besides, recent research suggests it’s millennial who are most likely to marry for money.