Mit dating advice
Yet, there weren’t many things I found illuminating (I link to ones that were).
Nerds have special needs, special skills and things which may work differently (honesty, emotions, touch, spontaneity, expectations of partners) - general advice rarely cuts it.
It is a soft, opinionated and personal matter, inadvertently revealing my secrets and vulnerabilities. But I see the profound change from something being frustrating to a field where I feel well.
And I would like to share some lessons I’ve learned in the process, often the hard way.
But, well, I actually want to help people, so it is wiser to think about a wider (not-empty! A lot of this content might be useful for other groups (gender, sexual orientation, level of nerdiness). By putting in some conscious effort you will get ahead of most men!
A large portion of this information is on approaching people in general, or advancing any relationship - surprisingly many things I learnt from dating are crucial for my networking skills (which, as a semi-freelancer, I use a lot).
For dating it may be even more treacherous - here you are not at a big advantage to start with.
] I believe that, just as there are shy, nerdy men, there are also shy, nerdy women, who likewise suffer from feeling unwanted, sexually invisible, or ashamed to express their desires. :) I spiked it with numerous references, so even if you fine with dating, you may find a few interesting links (I am an unabashed link hoarder). Ideally, I would send it to my younger self (say, 15-25yo - the sooner the better), so as to be spared a lot of unnecessary emotional pain, feelings of loneliness, rejection and isolation. Most people struggle with it at some point, not only nerds. At the same time, the bar is not so high - all you need is to get a bit of understanding of yourself, your body, other people and dating dynamics.And pointing them to this blog post (ideally: not in a passive-aggressive way) would be great!:) Before I proceed to it, let me lower your expectation.Nerds may get it harder with interpersonal skills and their social rank, see: In short - being very picky and having a main focus other than mating makes dating hard.Winning a math competition is unlikely to make you much more sexually appealing.