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Our automatic response is to chase when the "other" pulls away.What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner's former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. They don't need more time to figure out their emotions. The phases of Hot and Cold: The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person.Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident. The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention.Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication... This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not.
It has led to the creation of tie-in board, card, and video games, as well as a syndicated series played for smaller dollar amounts.It appears as though as though your partner has all the strength.But it's just the opposite -- real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Power and strength of this caliber have no fear of being honest and direct.A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.