Dating for a couple of months

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2013: I recently had a boyfriend of two months totally, utterly and completely disappear on me. How am I ever going to feel happy and safe in a relationship when the guy could shock me to my core at any minute?

Despite my extensive dating history, this had never happened to me before. So common, in fact, there’s a whole chapter devoted to it in Anyway, MDM (Mr Disappearing Man) and I had something really good going – or so I thought. We were the same age and from a similar background, had loads in common, got along famously, had great chemistry, and seemed to want the same things in life. While, naturally, we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, we never had one argument. I have my theories as to why he vanished so fast it made my head spin, but this isn’t about him. Fear and pessimism was NOT the vibe I wanted to bring to the table. One click led to another click led to another click and I found myself at a website called Dating with Dignity. And I was somewhat of an ‘expert’ myself, having written a humorous advice book on dating and relationships, inspired by lessons I’d learned over the years. But there’s nothing I love more than being pleasantly surprised…

And there’s plenty of reading material out there to confirm your fears.

Since you’ve been ‘left on the shelf’, perhaps it’s time to start discounting. Put your hands in the air and step away from the pricing gun… If you’re honestly ‘bringing it’ (physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially etc.) then be confident in your value. Don’t inadvertently apologize for your age, appearance or anything else you’re scared might be seen as a shortcoming.

Sure, it wasn’t perfect, and we had a long way to go to get to know each other, build a little history, and make some memories. It wasn’t long before Marni had my email address and, over three days, I received the three 35min videos. What could she possibly tell me that I didn’t already know? At the time, I decided to put it down to only being two months in, but my gut knew better.Until now, I never really understood why she didn’t take him up on his offer. The longer she let him treat her as though she wasn’t worth what she wanted (true love and commitment), the longer he’d continue to see her a certain way, and the relationship wouldn’t progress.I never thought I didn’t ‘deserve’ someone wonderful.(No wonder I didn’t know how to handle him – I’d never dated a ‘Mr Quality Casual’ before.) Basically he’s a guy who does almost everything right – except he’s looking to keep things somewhat casual.For whatever reason, he’s not in a position to offer you a full-blown relationship.

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