Dating divorced man no children

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I had never thought I would, one day, find myself trying out the “Single Dads” portion on the dating menu…

Apparently, however, if you are single, in your thirties and looking for an older man (aka late thirties or forties), the chances of bumping into a divorced guy with kids are high!

They had a child, and another on the way, so although there was an instant attraction he was off-limits.

In the past, I’d always swiped left on a man with an ex-wife or kids.

There is this huge part of his life I have no place in. I’m hopeful this will change once I’ve met the children.

I also expected regular phone calls when we were apart.

Naively, I imagined that when he took them on holiday or away for the weekend, I’d talk to him every day.

They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.

They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.

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